Beauty and the Beast – Happy Ever After?
by GriffinStar
Summary: A Fairy Tale romance? Recollections of events in S5, from Doctor Martin Ellingham's point of view. Links in with my other S5 story 'Seduction' later on.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Doc Martin is the property of Buffalo Pictures. I own nothing except my overactive imagination.**

**Beauty and the Beast – Happy Ever After? **

**Chapter 1**

Louisa was right. I am a difficult man. And I have been an idiot. For years and years.

Ever since my blood phobia kicked in, my goal, my ambition, my driving force has been to become a surgeon again. I've always believed that that was who I was, that was who I was meant to be. Anything else was second best, was being a failure, was pathetic and laughable. My father made no secret of his disdain at my lowly village GP role when he and my mother visited. And of course Edith had barely been able to hide her contempt when we had crossed paths, and it had reinforced my drive to get myself sorted out for once and for all.

And I had. I'd finally got a grip on things, got my blasted phobia under control at long last. London beckoned, and I couldn't wait to get back to my old life again, and let Louisa get on with her life, telling myself that she would be so much better off without me, however much I loved her.

And then our baby was born, a fine healthy boy. I very nearly missed the birth, but through some sort of divine intervention I was present. And at that moment everything changed. Louisa needed me. My son needed me. How could I ever have imagined that I could just walk away? Now I understood why my Auntie Joan had been so horrified by my seeming disinterest and reluctance to make any arrangements to see my child. Truth of the matter was that I simply hadn't been able to imagine how it would feel to be a father. It was not a role I had ever pictured myself in or believed that I would be any good at, but now I found that I _had _to be part of my son's and Louisa's life in some way. But I felt torn because my goal, my dream of being a surgeon back in London was now within my grasp.

The answer seemed obvious to me.

"I wonder if you should come to London, now that there's a baby," I tentatively suggested to Louisa, as I helped to strap her and the baby in my car. I'd offered to take them home from the hospital rather than head off to continue my journey to London. It was still very early days in our reconciliation, and I didn't dare to make any assumptions as to where our relationship was heading.

Louisa looked at me strangely.

"There was always going to be a baby, wasn't there Martin? I mean, I was pregnant," she pointed out.

"Yes, but it's different now that he's here," I tried to explain. I had managed to shut out the reality all the time that he'd been just a bump, but now…

"Is it Martin?" she asked me doubtfully, certainly not jumping at my suggestion that she come to London with me. I realised that it was going to be a slow road working things out between us, if indeed it was possible. But at least we both seemed to want to, and that was at least a start.

**xXx**

Once we got back to Louisa's cottage, it became very clear to me that she was woefully unprepared for the baby's arrival. He'd only been two weeks early after all. That's what came of her working full time right up until the last minute, I inwardly ranted. I'd always hated the idea of her working so many hours, but of course my views had counted for nothing, and I knew that I had to tread very carefully if we weren't going to immediately lock horns again. I had tried to broach the subject in the car on the way back, tried to say that no one is irreplaceable and that the school could manage perfectly well without her, but she had replied by giving me one of her infamous black looks.

So, for now I decided to simply give as much practical help as I could, and went upstairs to assemble the baby's cot while Louisa started breast feeding the baby, something that I was clearly _not _equipped to help or deal with.

Once we had managed to get rid of all the stupid nosy neighbours that inevitably turned up on her doorstep, I broached the subject that was playing on my mind.

"Can I stay? Just for tonight? It's a long journey and it's getting late," I asked.

Somehow, I just couldn't bear to leave Louisa, and I couldn't bear to leave the baby either. Then I remembered that her cottage only had one bedroom, so I hastily added, "If there's room that is, of course."

Louisa looked at me for a moment, as if weighing things up.

Then she handed me the baby as she said,

"I'm sure we can manage."

That night I offered to sleep on the settee downstairs.

"Don't be silly Martin. We've shared a bed before, so I'm sure we can manage again. And I think a man your size would find my sofa rather small and uncomfy," she insisted.

In all honesty, I hadn't relished the thought of sleeping on that tiny sofa, so I didn't argue any further. And although it was rather awkward as we both settled down in her double bed, I was glad to be close to both her and the baby, even if he did keep us awake by crying for most of the night.

Of course I ended up staying in Portwenn for much longer than I originally intended due to circumstances beyond my control. It did actually help that I was with Louisa and the baby when Joe Penhale broke the news about dear Auntie Joan. I looked down at the baby and thought of his life just beginning as hers had ended, and it made me very sad to think that she never got to see the baby that she had been so thrilled about.

**xXx**

Louisa and I ended up living together at the surgery for a few weeks.

Why on earth Chris Parsons and the rest of the interview panel had hired that totally incompetent Doctor Dibbs was beyond me. He tried to justify the board's decision, wittering on about how they'd felt that a sympathetic female doctor was just what a small village like Portwenn needed, but when I considered what a hard time I'd had at my initial interview, I failed to comprehend how they could possible have deemed her to be a suitable replacement.

It was only because Louisa declined my offer to examine her, after I discovered that she was in pain, that I insisted on taking her for an immediate consultation with Doctor Diane Dibbs. Of course I understood that female patients often preferred a lady doctor to carry out intimate examinations, but I felt extremely frustrated at being excluded, and found my self pacing outside the door, while I had to listen to that twerp of a husband of the new doctor. After a few minutes of waiting, I decided that I had given them enough time, so I knocked, as was normal protocol, then entered the room. I wanted to be sure that this Doctor Dibbs had carried out a thorough and competent examination, but Louisa immediately told me to leave again, which I reluctantly did. I was concerned that apart from the immediate discomfort that Louisa was experiencing, she could suffer long term consequences if anything was missed. It was imperative that any tears or problems were treated without delay. I was very cross that I had only found out that Louisa was in some discomfort when I overheard her talking to the woman in the village store. Why on earth hadn't she seen fit to confide in me, I was a doctor for heaven's sake? And why had she looked daggers at me in the shop when I had clarified for her that the perineum was the area between the anus and the vagina? I heard someone mutter something about 'preserve the romance', but this was purely a medical matter as far as I was concerned.

I was relieved when Doctor Dibbs declared that she had found no problems at all. As we left, Louisa apologised to her for making a fuss, which I felt was completely unnecessary as it had only taken a few minutes of her time, even if the surgery wasn't officially open until the next day.

When the full extent of Doctor Dibbs incompetence came to light, I just hoped that she had not missed anything with Louisa, but as she still refused to let me examine her, I had no option but to take her word that the problem had resolved itself.

With my replacement now also needing to be replaced, I agreed to stay on as acting GP until a proper doctor could be found. It suited me as I had all the funeral arrangements to organise. Imperial were bloody good about it all, so when they said that my stand in would only agree to come back from South Africa for a minimum of two months, meaning that I would have to stay on in Cornwall for that time, I felt I had no option but to agree. Trouble was, it meant delaying my plans to return to London. But it did give me more time with Louisa and the baby, to persuade her to come with me.

Eventually, after I'd asked her several more times, Louisa woke me early one morning to tell me that she had finally made up her mind. She had decided that she and the baby _would_ come to London with me. Once I'd woken up enough to take in what she was saying, I was very pleased indeed, because as far as I was concerned, it meant that I was getting the best of all worlds. Louisa, my son, and the job that I'd coveted for so long.

But I was ignoring something very important. Something that Aunt Ruth pointed out to me in her own inimitable way when I joined her for breakfast one morning. I'd taken the baby with me to allow Louisa to have a lie in, because clearly she was exhausted, and needed to rest. Luckily, when she'd brought up the subject of colour schemes for the flat in London, I'd been able to reassure her that it was all taken care of, I'd already arranged for all the decorating to be completed, so that was one less thing for her to worry about.

What Ruth pointed out to me was that whilst I might relish the idea of living and working in London, Louisa most likely didn't. I'd conveniently pushed to the back of my mind the fact that she had told me before that she didn't like London.

Well, we were both going to have to adapt, I told myself. Living with Louisa and the baby was taking some getting used to for me. I was used to having a place for everything, and everything in its place. Now, the house looked like a bomb had hit it most of the time. How one small baby could cause so much chaos was beyond me. And Louisa seemed to have a knack of leaving things all over the place, and I was constantly having to tidy up after her. She also seemed rather clumsy and absent minded, and several of my things had got damaged or broken. But I realised that this was not really her fault as it was no doubt caused by her fluctuating hormone levels, so I didn't complain or make a fuss.

In any case, none of that really mattered to me, because I found that I really liked just having her around. I loved watching her with our son, seeing her showering him with love and affection. Against my advice, she refused to leave him to cry, and part of me was secretly glad. At least our son would never feel unloved or neglected. She really did make a lovely mother, just as I had always thought she would.

I did my best to look after them both. I cooked nutritious meals, gave helpful medical advice, and tried to take care of as many of the practicalities as I could, because it seemed to me that Louisa was disorganised and not coping all that well. She didn't seem to have given any real consideration as to how she was going to cope when she went back to work full time. She had not made any provisional child care arrangements, which seemed to me to be leaving things very much to chance, and to the last moment.

Initially, she insisted on standing in as my receptionist at the surgery, when really she should have been concentrating on just looking after the baby and resting and recuperating after the birth, but of course she stubbornly refused to listen, even when she actually fell asleep on the job. However, in the end she bowed out and temporarily plonked Morwenna, an inexperienced young village girl, in the job before I'd had a chance to explain that I would be staying on for a bit longer than the initially agreed two weeks. Luckily, by chance, Morwenna seemed reasonably adequate once she settled in.

As time went by, as far as I was concerned, Louisa and I seemed to be jogging along together well enough, even if she did have some rather annoying habits, such as squeezing the toothpaste from the middle rather than the end. Looking after a baby was incredibly hard work, very demanding, but surprisingly satisfying, I discovered. I worked out the most hygienic and efficient way to change his nappy. I learnt how to 'jiggle him up and down' adequately, but I really couldn't get to grips with dancing with him, as Louisa ordered me to one time in desperation when he wouldn't settle. But I didn't mind taking him out for an early morning drive to get him to sleep, even if some stupid farmer soon put paid to those plans when they sounded their ridiculously loud car horn as they drove past us while we were quietly parked up in a lay by up on the moor.

I was very surprised when Louisa's mother turned up out of the blue, and even Louisa seemed somewhat taken aback. But it turned out that she had written to her when she had first discovered that she was pregnant. I had to admit that I was rather hurt that she had chosen to write to her estranged mother, whom she had not seen for years, but not to me, the father of her child.

I soon discovered that I could not stand Eleanor. Cigarette smoking, alcohol imbibing, thoughtless, selfish, arrogant, interfering, and irresponsible were just a few of her apparent qualities. I was horrified that Louisa seemed to consider her a suitable person to mind the baby, but I supposed that as she didn't have anyone else, she maybe hoped that being a grandmother would bring out her mother's more responsible side. It didn't.

But as Eleanor always seemed to be able to bring Louisa around to her point of view, all I could do was try to closely monitor her and make sure that she was not acting too irresponsibly as far as the care of our son was concerned. It was no easy task, especially when I discovered just how she had managed to get him to sleep for her when we had had no luck with him. Putting alcoholic drops in his feed, effectively drugging him, was not my idea of responsible nurturing, and I was furious with her, as was Louisa initially. But as usual, somehow Eleanor managed to convince her daughter that it was all a fuss over nothing, that she had meant no harm, and so Louisa still used her as the primary child minder, an arrangement that I was not comfortable with at all. So I continued to keep as close an eye on her as I could.

We struggled for weeks to agree on a name for our baby, and in the end, to save any more arguments, I decided that I could live with Louisa's choice of James Henry, so I went ahead and filled in the forms to save Louisa the bother. At first she didn't like that one bit – until she realised that I had acquiesced to her name choice. Then her face softened, and she glowed with happiness as she cooed at our son.

And I found that it gave me great pleasure when I managed to make her happy like that, and I really wanted to try to do that more often. The difficulty for me was trying to work out just what it was that would make her happy, because so many times I just couldn't make sense of her behaviour.

Such as asking me about her appearance, asking if she looked alright, when clearly if she just looked in the mirror it would be very apparent that she looked perfectly acceptable, as she always did. Or taking offence when I pointed out that chocolate digestive biscuits contained little nutritious value, and would not help her to shift the last few pounds of her baby weight. I'd tried to help her resist temptation by putting them out of sight, but she did not seem to appreciate this help at all.

I thought that I was doing the right thing when I arranged the date for our child to be christened. Clearly it had to be before we left for London, and there was only one date that the vicar had that worked, so after checking Louisa's diary and finding that she had nothing planned for that date, I went ahead booked it. Shortly afterwards, I bumped into Aunt Ruth, and so had told her to keep the date free, thinking that maybe she could be a Godparent.

Unfortunately, Louisa found out about it before I had a chance to tell her myself, and instead of being grateful that I had taken responsibility for arranging things, she hit the roof, told me I should have asked her first, made a _huge_ fuss over it, and then childishly refused to eat the meal that I had prepared for us because she said that I hadn't asked her if it was what she wanted.

And then she dropped her bombshell. She said that she couldn't carry on any more, and so she upped and left, went to stay with her mother back at the cottage, taking James with her, and leaving me to an empty house once more.

I didn't argue with her, or try and stop her, because at the back of my mind, I knew that it was selfish of me to want her to come to London with me. Expecting her to give up her job, give up her home, to come and live with me in London, knowing that she really didn't care for the place. No doubt she was worried that if things didn't work out between us, she'd be back to square one, having to start over yet again. And Louisa was so fiercely independent, that she simply hated and rejected out of hand the idea of me supporting her while she stayed at home looking after the baby, which I would have been more than happy to do and could easily afford.

All I wanted was for our son to have the best possible care, and as far as I was concerned, that was him being looked after by his mother, by _Louisa_. I wanted _her_ to look after him, no one else. Certainly not her unreliable, scheming, conniving mother, who had had no compunction about dumping her grandson with one of the dreadful teenage girls who hung around the village and made trouble, when looking after a baby became a bit of an inconvenience to her business plans.

And when I had suggested Prep. school, it was only because I wanted James Henry to have the best possible education, and I wasn't convinced that the local under funded state schools would give him the same opportunities in life, enable him to have the pick of the best universities as I had had, thanks to my education.

But of course Louisa took umbrage. She seemed to think that I was casting aspersions on her school, and on her personally, and that I was heartless for wanting to send our son away to boarding school. I had to admit that when I allowed myself to recollect how I'd truly felt, recalled the memories that had been invoked when I'd looked at the school boy photos that Aunt Ruth had found, it had made me feel distinctly uncomfortable about putting James through the same experience.

But in the end, it was Eleanor who unwittingly made me come to my senses, in a round about kind of way.

One day, a worried Louisa brought her mother in to see me because she was experiencing bad abdominal pain. It soon became apparent that her condition was very serious indeed, as I diagnosed a strangulated hernia that required urgent intervention. However, when the ambulance that had been summoned went to the wrong village, it left me with no option but to perform emergency surgery to save her life, right there in my consulting room.

And despite the surroundings, I performed the operation satisfactorily, with no problems whatsoever with regard to the blood.

So I had proved to myself, to everyone, that I really was able to be a surgeon again. I should have been thrilled, elated. But all I could think of was how I was going to feel alone in London, hundreds of miles away from Louisa and James, which is where my heart was telling me I wanted to be, however much my head was trying to convince me otherwise. What did being a London surgeon again really matter, compared to being with them? What was more important? Louisa had accused me of putting my career before our son, and although I had protested, I had to concede that maybe she had a point. I had had it all within my grasp – a partner, a family, but somehow I had managed to let it slip through my fingers.

Did I really want to spend the rest of my days just cooking for one? Lonely nights having the bed all to myself? Not having someone to wake up next to? Not having someone to talk to? Louisa was so good at chattering away, and even if I didn't say much, I found I rather liked just listening to her.

And to my surprise, it turned out that maybe I wasn't so bad at this parenting business after all. I found that I actually enjoyed looking after baby James, and would happily do so at any opportunity – as long as it didn't clash with my job. It simply wasn't professionally responsible to have the baby with me at work. But as long as I had enough notice, I would happily reschedule my plans in order to spend time looking after him. He seemed content in my company for the most part, and I loved seeing him smile and gurgle at me, even if I was unable to indulge in any kind of baby talk with him – he never seemed to mind what I said to him, as long as he had my attention.

So was I really going to be happy only seeing James Henry every few weeks or so? At least Louisa seemed to want me to be involved with him, quizzing me about whether I was going to visit regularly, that I wasn't going to mess him around – as I suspected she had been messed around as a child by her unreliable parents. But realistically, I knew that the distance between Cornwall and London, combined with the heavy demands of a top surgeon's position, would make it difficult for me to see James Henry as often as I would choose.

_To be continued_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Doc Martin is the property of Buffalo Pictures. I own nothing except my overactive imagination.**

**Beauty and The Beast – Happy Ever After?**

**Chapter 2**

How I regretted letting Mrs Tishell look after James that day, but it had been a difficult situation. Louisa had come round one evening to ask if I could look after our baby the next day. She'd explained that they were short staffed at the school due to some sort of flu virus going round, so she couldn't take the day off, or take James to work with her, and her mother was still recuperating after her operation. It was awkward for me because I knew I had a full patient list, and it was a bit late in the day to try to re-arrange all the appointments. However, I really didn't want to refuse, because I was worried about who on earth he might end up with if I didn't take him, so I agreed. It meant that I would have no option but to ask Morwenna to watch him while I saw my patients, but at least I would be near by to keep an eye on things.

The next morning, Mr. Tishell attended my surgery for a consultation. After I informed him that he would need a daily injection of heparin, he called his wife in so that I could explain to her how to carry out the procedure. I was surprised when she walked in carrying James Henry with her. She quite rightly pointed out that the germ laden surgery was not the best place for a baby, and that Morwenna was hardly qualified or even willing to look after him. So logically, it had seemed a suitable arrangement when she offered to mind James for a couple of hours, especially as she seemed to be quite good with him. She was a mature, professional woman after all, albeit a slightly odd one, but by Portwenn standards, she had seemed by far the most sensible choice of child minder.

But when I went to collect James at lunch time, I found that Mrs Tishell had gone missing with him. As I searched her flat for clues as to where she might have gone, I was horrified to discover a 'stalker cupboard' that contained pictures and newspaper clippings, signifying what seemed to be a rather unhealthy obsession with me. I had realised that she was trying to befriend me over the years, especially after she gave me that horrendous personalised yellow jumper and planted a kiss on my very unwilling lips when I'd been about to leave for London. I never imagined that there was anything remotely sinister in her overtures, but when I discovered the medication combination that she had been irresponsibly self prescribing, alarm bells began to sound. I realised that she was most likely having some sort of psychotic episode and that James Henry could be in real danger.

I rushed over to the school and felt so guilty as I had to face telling Louisa what had happened while our son was in my care. Of course I would never have let the woman any where near our baby if I had had the slightest idea of how unbalanced she had become.

As Louisa and I, accompanied by PC Penhale and Aunt Ruth, raced around trying to track her down, it hit me with a sickening thud that sometimes you don't know what you've got until it's gone. I prayed that it wasn't too late when we finally worked out that Mrs Tishell was at a remote place called Pentire Castle, and ran up the rocky path to reach it.

Seeing no sign of the woman or James Henry, I hammered on the door to try to gain access, before both Louisa and Ruth counselled me to take a more restrained approach. But then we heard Mrs Tishell calling out to me, and so while the ladies stayed out of sight, and PC Penhale disappeared round the back of the building, I went to see where she was. The sight that greeted me could almost have been one from a Shakespeare play.

Mrs Tishell was upstairs, hanging out of a leaded arched window, while a flag flapped in the breeze on the castellated roof above her. She was precariously holding James as she leant out, and I knew that I had to act quickly to ensure his safety.

"Just bring the baby down here _NOW_," I instructed her, in my usual clear and authoritative manner.

But when she failed to respond to my order, and seemed upset as she thought that I sounded a little angry, I realised that it was not going to be that easy. I tried again.

"Why don't you just come down here and we can talk about it?" I suggested.

But instead, Mrs Tishell started ranting on and on about how long she'd been waiting for me, accusing me of 'running round with that school teacher trollop', then berating me for my vacillating behaviour over the years, before finally telling me that she couldn't stand it any more.

Worryingly, it was evident that the woman was becoming more distressed and unbalanced by the minute, refusing to accept that she was having a psychotic episode brought about by the drugs that she was taking, instead insisting that they had enabled her to feel free and to see things more clearly. Then she spotted that oaf Penhale through the window and became extremely agitated, accusing me of lying to her, and I struggled to think what to do next to calm her down. I saw Louisa wringing her hands, scared of what this unhinged woman might do next.

Aunt Ruth started giving me her professional advice on how to talk the deluded woman down, and logically it made sense for me to listen to her, but as I looked over at Louisa, somehow I just knew that I had to trust _her _instincts, that she somehow understood what words would get through to Mrs Tishell. At least I felt now that Louisa and I were a team working together to get our son back.

And it also dawned on me that this was my very last opportunity, my very last chance to finally open up to Louisa, albeit under the pretext of convincing the batty woman to come down with James. It was true, I realised as I listened to Mrs Tishell's rantings, I _had _waited far too long, missed _far_ too many opportunities to win the woman of my dreams, because of my fear of opening up and putting my heart on the line.

"I'm a difficult person," Louisa instructed me to say, as Aunt Ruth rolled her eyes in disbelief. "I waited so long because…"

Louisa pulled a face at me to give me a clue as to what I should say next, rather like a game of charades.

"Because I'm an idiot," I said, as Louisa gave me a double thumbs up to show that I had interpreted her correctly.

"I think I've known how I felt since the first time I met you, from the first time I saw you," I continued, as I looked over at Louisa.

And it was true. I remembered only too well how I hadn't been able to concentrate on reading my newspaper on the flight down to Cornwall, distracted as I was by the exceptionally attractive young woman with very beautiful eyes, who was sat opposite me. That was why I'd noticed that there was possibly something wrong, because I was captivated by those eyes. But she had seemed upset when I kept trying to look more closely. She told me that I had a problem, then had moved away to another seat before I'd had a chance to explain my medical concerns to her.

On my arrival for the job interview, it certainly made things a little awkward when Chris Parsons introduced me to this same woman and I discovered that Louisa Glasson was in fact one of the lay members on the interview panel.

By coincidence that interview had been held at The Castle Hotel, the very same place where we had initially rushed to today, thinking that was where Mrs Tishell was. Being there again brought back memories of how Miss Glasson had given me a pretty hard time at that interview, questioning my suitability for the GP role. Although I was rather put out by her attitude towards me, my interest was most definitely piqued. This was a woman who was not only beautiful, but feisty and intelligent. As a highly respected vascular consultant who had been in charge of a surgical team, I was used to people being somewhat in awe of me. Part of me rather respected her for not sucking up to me, as she pretty much told me that she didn't consider me to be a suitable candidate for the GP opening in their little village.

Clearly she was overruled, because she came storming out of the room as I waited outside, and started reading me the riot act.

"I'm warning you…."

At that point my medical persona clicked in, as I took the opportunity to question her about her vision, and examine her eyes more closely. It was just as I'd thought, suspected acute glaucoma in the right eye, and I advised her to seek expert help immediately. That took the wind right out of her sails, Miss Hoity Toity Glasson, so protective of her silly little village. But despite myself, I couldn't tear my eyes away from her as she left, and so I crashed into the door when I made my way back into the room where the interview panel waited to greet me with the news that I was the successful candidate.

I was reassured to think that at least now she realised that I had not been acting improperly towards her by looking into her eyes, I had merely been acting as any responsible doctor should when he suspects a serious medical condition.

But Cupid had shot his arrow with great accuracy, because from that day on, it seemed as if a spell had been cast over me, and I just couldn't get the enchanting Louisa Glasson out of my mind, however hard I tried. There was no respite for me even at night, because she invaded my dreams as well, at times in a most erotic and disturbing manner.

I told myself that a stunning woman like her was way out of my league, but that didn't stop me from thinking about her all the time, even finding excuses to go out of my way just to catch a glimpse of her.

I'd messed up so many previous chances, but now I _had_ to act to try to convince her to give me one last chance before it was too late, and I ended up spending the rest of my life alone and without her. To my surprise, I found that the more I spoke, the easier it became, as the floodgates opened to allow my true feelings to pour out, to tell her how I really felt.

"I know I'm hard to talk to, I'm aware of that." Louisa nodded her head at me as I said this.

"And I do hate Portwenn. I hate the people," I told her. The truth was that I really didn't care in general for people _anywhere_, be they from Cornwall or London. Their bodies, their illnesses and symptoms I found fascinating; the characters that inhabited these bodies were simply an inconvenience that I had to tolerate. I found it far easier to identify patients by their symptoms and illnesses than by their names. Louisa had accurately assessed me all that time ago at that interview. I was indeed a typical surgeon, interested in bodies, not people. But I didn't see that as any great problem. I would always perform my duties to the very best of my abilities, regardless of how annoying I found my patients.

"But it's where I want to be, because _you__'__re_ here, because of _you_. Because if I'm with you, nothing else matters."

I looked at Louisa as I spoke, so that she knew that my words were directed at her and only her. She was the centre of my universe.

"What I'm trying to say is …_I __love __you._"

There. I'd finally come out and said it. What was so hard about saying those words? Why had I found it so difficult for so long, especially knowing how important it was to Louisa? Wise old bird that Auntie Joan had been, she'd pretty much known from the beginning that I'd fallen head over heels for Louisa when she'd caught me staring into the school at her, and had countless times tried to give me a nudge in the right direction. But I'd always convinced myself that a wonderful, beautiful woman like Louisa would never be interested in a big ugly old brute like me. Even when we'd nearly married, I'd been unable to believe that I could ever make her happy, and had not been surprised when she too had called the wedding off. Yet somehow, despite my appalling behaviour towards her over the years, there had always been a bond between us that kept pulling us together even when I resisted. Now I had finally acknowledged it - and it was liberating.

And thank God my words worked. Both with Mrs Tishell, who came down, allowing Louisa to safely retrieve James, and also with Louisa.

Once Mrs Tishell could be prised away from me, she was lead away by Aunt Ruth, aided by PC Penhale.

"This isn't how the fairy tale ends. It's the handsome prince and…," Mrs Tishell tried to protest.

Now it was time for another Doctor Ellingham to take control, as Aunt Ruth calmly explained to the deranged woman what had happened, and prevented an eager PC Penhale from arresting and handcuffing her psychotic patient.

"You don't know what love is," Mrs Tishell shouted back to me.

Oh but I _did_ know what love was, and even if I didn't see myself as any kind of a handsome prince in a fairy tale, I _was_ hoping for a happy ending this time.

"Is he alright?" I asked, as I looked at our son. Louisa was cuddling him protectively in her arms.

"I think he's fine," she replied, as she tenderly kissed his soft little head. Then she looked up at me.

"Did you mean what you said about staying here or was that all for…?" she asked, studying my face, as if she hardly dared to believe that my words _had_ been directed at her.

"No, I meant it. All of it," I assured her.

"I have waited so long to hear you say nice things, and I'd given up, _completely_ given up. And then to hear you say them today to someone else…"

The look on her face made me feel so guilty and sad that I had waited so long, and missed so many opportunities to make her happy.

"It doesn't matter," I tried to tell her.

"It does to me," she insisted.

"No, I mean _everything_. What school James goes to…London…none of it matters. I'm _not_ going to be like my father, and he is _not_ going to be like me."

I knew for certain now that all I wanted was to be with Louisa, and it didn't matter where. And I really wanted the chance to be a good father to James, not a cruel bully like my father had been. I did _not _want my son growing up feeling unloved or lonely as I had.

"And I _do_ love you," I repeated, to try to make amends for taking so long to tell her how I really felt, and I think she still couldn't quite believe what she was hearing.

"Say it again," she demanded with a little smile.

"I think I've already said it twice," I pointed out.

"I know, but say it again anyway," Louisa smiled at me.

I leaned in to kiss her, happy and relieved that things had turned out so well in the end. I closed my eyes as our lips touched, to savour every second. I slowly broke away so that I could tell her that I would always love her, that she would always be the only woman for me, but then that idiot Penhale interrupted us.

"Sorry guys, you just carry on," he urged us, after twittering on about something to do with losing his police radio.

But the moment had passed, and so we started to make our way back down the twisty path towards the car. As Louisa slipped her hand in mine, we were together again, our little family of three.

_To Be Continued_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Doc Martin is the property of ****Buffalo**** Pictures. I own nothing except my overactive imagination.**

**Beauty and The Beast – Happy Ever After?**

**Chapter 3**

That evening, we returned together to Louisa's cottage. It made sense for us to go back to her place rather than mine, because all the baby equipment for James was there, and once she told me that her mother had left, flown off to warmer climes, I didn't mind going there at all.

While Louisa disappeared off to have a shower, I stood looking down at our precious little boy, now happily fast asleep in his cot. Thankfully, Louisa had not persisted with her quite frankly ludicrous idea of letting the baby co-sleep with her in bed, an idea she'd gained from that ridiculous child care book which I was certain could only have been written by an American. That lot were usually responsible for the latest hare-brained, ill thought out fads in my experience.

I couldn't help but smile to myself as I heard James Henry snoring a little as he slumbered, which was really rather endearing. He may have taken after me in his looks, poor little sod, but he had certainly inherited a few of his mother's traits too.

I looked up as Louisa now came back into the bedroom. She slowly walked over to stand in front of me. My breath caught in my throat as she ran her hands up my chest and then round to the back of my neck to pull me down for a kiss. It was a long, lingering, smouldering kiss that was full of promise.

"Make love to me Martin," she whispered in my ear, and I could feel my body responding instantly to her seductive overtures.

She was wrapped in just a flimsy little towel, and all I wanted to do was to rip it off her and comply with her command.

But somehow I managed to keep a reign on my feelings. I couldn't bear the thought of causing her any discomfort, not when she had been through the trauma of childbirth not so long ago, and had suffered soreness afterwards. She seemed such a small, delicate creature compared to a great big oaf like me, and I was prepared to wait, however long it took, whatever self control it took, until she was completely recovered before we could contemplate any resumption of our love life. I certainly didn't want her to feel in any way obliged, just because of my declaration of love. But Louisa she seemed _very_ sure about what she wanted.

"Make love to me Martin," she whispered again, having assured me that she really was fine now. She unbuttoned my jacket, then slipped my tie off, all the while nuzzling and kissing my neck and my ears. I could feel my head swimming, my pulse racing, and my self control slipping. But I had to be sensible, I had to think of the practicalities….

"But Louisa, we haven't sorted out any protection," I managed to gasp, not wanting another unplanned pregnancy on my conscience.

In answer, she triumphantly produced a box of brand new, highest quality condoms. As I checked them out, I saw that they were large size ones, and noticed Louisa grinning up at me rather wickedly. Clearly she remembered some of the finer details from our previous liaisons.

Being a doctor naturally involved seeing other people naked, so I was well aware that I was a well built man of generous proportions. In the days when Mark Mylow had been the village policeman, I had tried to be tactful when he had sought my reassurance regarding the size of his 'equipment', knowing how important this was to most men. But the fact of the matter had been that he had been rather on the small size in that area. Not that that should in any way have been a hindrance to his love life. It just meant that he had to ensure that he used the most suitable techniques in his sexual relations.

Being a GP meant that I was required to give informative and accurate advice on any sexual matters that a patient consulted me about. So naturally I had fully researched the topic, just as I would for any other subject. I knew that skilful foreplay was essential for successful and satisfying intercourse for the female partner. So I had used my knowledge of the female anatomy to smooth things along for Louisa and I, to try and ensure that there were no problems for a petite woman like her.

Happily we had not encountered any problems at all - in fact we had seemed to be tailor made for one another. She had been so responsive to my touch, and I had never felt so aroused by any woman before – or since. Being together had been so intensely pleasurable, and I longed to share that intimacy with Louisa again. So now I found myself starting to relax, to let myself go…

"We can't, what if the baby wakes up?" I suddenly thought.

I realised that would soon put a stop to our amorous activities, and it did feel rather odd to have another being in the room with us while we were starting to make love.

"He won't know anything, he's just a baby. And he's actually a bit more settled, sleeps four hours at a time now at night. I think that should be long enough, don't you?" Louisa whispered as she unbuttoned my shirt and then removed it, before starting to undo my trousers.

"Oh Martin! What do we have here, hmm?"

Louisa had uncovered the very obvious evidence of my overwhelming need for her.

"Oh God Louisa, do you have any idea how much I've longed for this," I groaned, as I kissed her neck and her ears, breathing in her very essence as I did so.

"Make love to me Martin," she whispered for the third time, and the flimsy towel that had been struggling to cover her modesty somehow fell to the floor.

I gazed in awe at her. She was so beautiful, so very beautiful. And she wanted me.

So I finally let myself go, to live out my dreams, the endless dreams that I had night after night, of how wonderful it would be to experience once again the delights of making love to Louisa.

**xXx**

As we lay entwined together afterwards, I had to pinch myself to believe that this was real. We were still both naked – she had forbidden me to put my pyjamas on, declaring that they were 'hideous'. I didn't really mind, as it meant that she didn't put hers on either, and so I could touch and feel her gloriously soft silky skin. She seemed to be under some sort of misapprehension that I hadn't made any advances to her when we were living together because I didn't find her attractive any more. I hoped that she was now reassured that this could not be any further from the truth, even if I was not very good at communicating these things to her.

"Louisa, you know I'm not very good with words, never have been," I reminded her.

"Yes, I do know. But I have to say that you excelled yourself with your words this afternoon though, didn't you? I truly thought I would never hear you say that you loved me, and that made me so sad. Go on, say it again now, please? Finish what you were going to say when that imbecile Joe interrupted us."

"Really Louisa, it's all a fuss over nothing. And anyway, I didn't hear you say anything back, you didn't make any declaration of love to me as I recall."

"That is true I suppose. So I shall tell you now. I love you Martin Ellingham. I have always loved you, and I will always love you."

"And I will always love you Louisa. That's what I was going to say. I will always love you, there will never be anyone else for me. There, was that alright?"

"Perfect Martin, that was just perfect. And from now on, I shall expect you to tell me that you love me every day, so that you get more used to vocalising your feelings."

I was horrified - Louisa wanted me to say those words to her_ every day?_ It was as if she was setting me some sort of homework, like learning my times tables. As I grimaced, she told me that it only had to be in private, and I supposed that as I'd managed to say it out loud in public, maybe I could manage to whisper something in her ear at bedtime, if that was what it took to keep her happy.

As I relaxed and let myself think about what had just passed between us, I had a silly little smile on my face, much as I'd had the morning after the very first time we had made love. I recalled how on that occasion I'd had a spring in my step and the same smile as I'd left her cottage to walk back to mine, and how that stupid postman had given me a thumbs up sign having caught us together that morning as he'd delivered the post.

Louisa gave a happy little sigh as she snuggled up in my arms, having assured me that she had not experienced any discomfort or problems during our love making. She had certainly seemed to enjoy the process every bit as much as I had, clinging to me and digging her nails in my back, as she'd called out my name at the height of her passion. The thought that this was just the first of many such pleasurable experiences between us was thrilling and exciting to say the least. I thought of the young, newly married couple who had come to see me earlier. They had been so in love, unable to cut back on their kissing, finishing each others sentences, enjoying their honeymoon to the full by trying out new positions in the bedroom.

At the time, it had painfully reminded me that I had no one to experience such pleasures with. But now, hopefully things were different, and in time, maybe we could do some positional experimenting of our own. Over the years, however hard I had tried to control my thoughts, I had been unable to control my dreams, dreams where Louisa sat astride me, her head thrown back in pleasurable abandonment, her dark glossy hair tumbling down over her shoulders, as I caressed her pert breasts…but I was getting ahead of myself.

I had to come back down to earth. There were still quite a few things that we had to face and sort out together. Yes, we had just proved that we were undoubtedly satisfyingly sexually compatible, but there were quite a few other matters that we had to get straight if we were to stand a realistic chance of making a go of things between us. The fairy tale ending could soon come crashing down around us otherwise.

I glanced over at the cot, where James Henry was still sleeping, although for how much longer I wasn't sure. But I was quite looking forward to picking him up when he woke. I had actually missed the disturbed nights, when Louisa and I had worked together to try to comfort our wailing son. When she moved out, taking James with her, the nights had seemed too long, the house too quiet, the place too tidy. I had missed picking up random items of Louisa's underwear scattered over the floor, along with James' little socks and toys.

"After today's debacle, we have to ensure that proper child care arrangements are put in place for James Henry," I ventured.

"Yes, I agree, I don't know what I would have done if anything had happened to him," Louisa said. She shuddered and then cuddled up closer to me, as I held her tight. At least she didn't seem to be holding me to blame for leaving him with Mrs Tishell.

"I'll help out when I can, but I can't look after him when I'm holding surgery. Patients have a right to expect my undivided attention during their consultation, and anyway, a lot of them have such disgusting germs and viruses that I'd rather he wasn't in close proximity to them," I tried to explain. When I had James, I wanted to be able to concentrate on him.

"So are you saying that you are definitely going to stay on as GP here in the village? You're really sure? You won't regret not going to London, and meeting up with…you know…" Louisa asked.

"Yes I am sure about staying on here, if Chris agrees that is. And no, I have no wish to meet up with Edith, if that is who you are referring to. She was just a colleague, an old friend, nothing more. You jumped to the wrong conclusion about her," I stated.

It had been good to see Edith again, she had been someone that I could hold a decent conversation and discussion with. This had been very welcome to me at a time when I'd been at an all time low following Louisa's departure from the village after we had called off our wedding. But there had never been anything more between us - well as far as I was concerned anyway. I remembered how I had contemplated spending the night with Edith when she had booked a double room for us at the conference in Exeter, with the clear intention of us having sex. But I had been unable to go through with it. I just couldn't get Louisa out of my mind, and everywhere I looked there had seemed to be reminders of her. It had been bloody annoying actually. A lot of men would have just taken what was on offer and enjoyed a night of sex, but I found I couldn't, even though technically I was free to do so, because at the time I was single, and Louisa had wanted nothing to do with me.

"Hmm, well you can't really blame me when you and Edith looked so cosy sitting together in your kitchen, and you both had so much in common," Louisa argued, but I think even she realised by now that I really was not interested in that woman. "And I'm sure Chris will jump at the chance of keeping you on as our GP. But as far as looking after James is concerned, since I rescinded my notice and am continuing as Head Teacher, I can't be expected to take him into school with me either, and there are a lot of germs at school too."

"No, I didn't say that you should. But that's why we need to get something sorted - that is if you really are still as determined to continue working?"

It really wasn't what I wanted at all, but I reluctantly accepted that I was going to have to compromise on the issue. I would still much prefer that she didn't work and instead concentrated on looking after the baby for now. I'd tried my best to convince her that it was better for the child, and I'd quoted several studies to support my argument, but Louisa had not been swayed it seemed. She had just thrown back at me the findings of other reports that supported her argument. She really didn't need to work, it wasn't as if we needed the money. I was more than capable of supporting us financially, but Louisa seemed to have an issue with being a 'kept woman', as she termed it.

I found Louisa to be a bit of a contradiction really. She had been so determined to go ahead and have this baby, and was so fiercely protective of him, that I was surprised that she was then happy to hand him over to unsuitable minders so that she could work. At least now she seemed happy for me to look after him, and for that I was grateful. James Henry may have been unplanned, conceived thanks to a faulty condom, hastily used in the heat of the moment without either of us thinking to checking the 'use by' date, but he was without a doubt the best mistake that we had ever made. If Louisa hadn't got pregnant, she would probably never have returned to the village and then we would never have got back together. Realistically, I think it unlikely that I would ever have actually chosen to have a child, so now I was eternally grateful that our slip up had made the choice for me.

"I love my job, and I've worked so hard to get my position, I can't just give it up now. And anyway, I'd be bored out of my brain to be a full time, stay at home mum," Louisa insisted.

"It's just that…well I happen to think that _you_ are the best person to look after him, especially while he is so young, not some stranger who happens to be available. And I'm afraid that I for one am _not_ sorry that your mother has buggered off again, she was so unreliable."

"Ok Martin, I know you and she didn't exactly hit it off together."

"That's an understatement," I muttered. For the life of me, I simply couldn't understand why Louisa had accepted her mother back, considering the way she seemed to think she could waltz in and out of her daughter's life as she pleased, causing mayhem and upset.

"Well, we could start by investigating all the officially registered child minders in the village. And maybe I could cut back my hours a bit so that we wouldn't need a child minder every day."

"Hmm, maybe I could do the same," I offered by way of compromise.

"Oh Martin, that would be _really_ good. You know, I'm quite surprised by how much of a 'Daddy's Boy' James is already, so I'm sure he would love it if you spent more time with him."

Louisa hugged me, and I felt quite proud that she had noticed the bond that was developing between my baby son and me. So it really was no hardship for me to look after James sometimes, because I actually enjoyed it anyway. And after all, what was the point of me turning down the London position if I didn't make time to be with my family?

"Just a couple of other things that I wanted to bring up," I continued, deciding that I might as well go for it.

"Yes, Martin?"

"You said that I'm a difficult man, and you were right, I am. Which inevitably will mean that things are not always going to be plain sailing between us. So there are two things that I ask of you."

"Go on, I'm listening."

"Just tell me, straight out, _exactly_ what it is you expect from me, what you want me to do. I don't do hints, and I don't do subtle. I much prefer dealing with clear instructions given to me in a factual and logical manner. So if you can inform me of your expectations and requirements in that way, then hopefully there will be fewer misunderstandings between us."

"OK Martin, I get the picture, and I promise that I will do my best. What's the second thing?"

"However hard we try, realistically we are bound to experience some ups and downs in our relationship. But please, don't ever walk out on me again, don't just run away. Explain things to me, tell me what it is that I've done wrong, or what it is that I've _not_ done that has upset you. Give me a chance to put things right, please?"

"Oh Martin, you make me sound like a teenager who flounces off every time things get tough!"

"All I'm saying is that we both have to act like adults, because we have our child to consider now. I will try to communicate with you more effectively, but I really need you to help me. And if you leave each time things get a bit difficult, you can't teach me how to get better at this 'couple' business, can you? Don't forget, I have been a crusty old bachelor living on my own for a very long time."

For the longest time I had found all these 'love' feelings very difficult to handle. I had found them to be rather inconvenient and quite frankly a blessed nuisance as they had irritatingly disrupted my calm orderly life, and the best option had seemed to be to try to ignore them. So inevitably now I was going to struggle to cope with all the finer nuances of being in a relationship without some help from Louisa, who always seemed to take offence so easily to my honest reactions and thoughts. But that was just my way - I had never believed in telling convenient lies, preferring the truth, even if it wasn't always what people wanted to hear.

"No Martin, you're right. I will try, honestly, and I am sorry for how I've acted at times, making unfair assumptions about you. It's just…" Her voice trailed away, and I could see the hurt in her eyes. I could just picture her as the vulnerable little girl whose mother had deserted her, who had grown into the teenager, the young woman who had had to build up a defensive wall to protect herself from her mother's selfish behaviour and abandonment, and her father's petty criminal behaviour. It had made her become fiercely independent , never allowing herself to become too dependent or reliant on anyone else. It explained a lot about her behaviour towards me, I began to realise.

"Having met both your parents, and seen how they've treated you, I can maybe comprehend your feelings of insecurity," I said, as I gently stroked her cheek. I wasn't the only one who had been affected by my ghastly childhood, nor was I the only one who had been in denial of how the past had affected me, I now realised.

"Turning into one of those psychoanalyst types that you always profess to hate, are you Martin?" Louisa tried to joke with me, but I knew that I had hit the nail on the head. I certainly hoped that Eleanor never returned, but like a bad penny, no doubt at some point she would. I couldn't understand how Louisa had ever considered her a suitable minder for James, but I did realise that it was extremely complicated between the two women. Eleanor was manipulative, and knew how to play Louisa perfectly. I would have to be on my guard if she did return. I would certainly do my best to ensure that she did not hurt Louisa – or our son – again.

"Anyway, I've got something to get straight with you too, Martin."

"Yes?" I asked, all attention.

"Don't you _ever_ hide my chocolate digestives _ever_ again."

"But Louisa, I was only trying to help…"

"Martin! Just shut up, alright?"

I realised that in this instance, I just had to accept what she was saying, even if she was being illogical and made no sense at all. Some things, it seemed, would _never_ make sense to me, however long I lived.

"Yes, Louisa." I meekly replied, and was rewarded by her gently kissing my cheek. I knew that I had a lot to learn, but as long as I had Louisa as my teacher, I would be a very conscientious student.

_The End_

_Now continued in '**Happy Ever After – The Real World'**_


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